Dear Shizu-chan
by Lolita Rafane
Summary: After what happened to Shinra, Izaya didn't come to Ikebukuro for a few weeks. That's why I'm paying him a visit, only to get caught in a bloody game happening in Shinjuku.
1. Blood Party In Shinjuku

**Note : Aside from the first part, all the other first person views belong to Shizuo.**

* * *

Title : Dear Shizu-chan

Chapter 1 : Blood Party In Shinjuku

_I love humans. For that, they should love me in return._

_It's okay if they use me as they like. I don't mind paying a small toll for the game that I played. _

_As much as how I love their nature, sometimes they went too far…_

_Absolutely nobody are allowed to hurt my best friend…_

_Absolutely nobody could hurt Shinra..._

.

"That flea… Daring to call himself Shinra's friend, huh? Disappearing when he's lying on his death bed?" I grunt as I light another cigarette between my fingers.

I remember that bloody scene… Like hell I could forget something as gruesome as that…

Yeah… Ever since that day, I couldn't help but to blame myself. If only I came a few minutes earlier, I would gladly murder the bastards who did that to him.

…

**-6 days ago-**

The strong scent of blood made Shizuo's nose twitch. It wasn't like the usual copper smell. A mixture of chemicals and rat poison… maybe…

Without much thought, he casually followed the disturbing smell, leading him to a warehouse he never knew existed.

"This is stupid."

Whatever that happened, he sure didn't want to be part of it. The blond turned around to leave, but something inside the grey building begged for him to open the warehouse gates.

Something was begging for him to-

A few men in black and white clothing burst out of the warehouse entrance. As soon as the gate opened, even though only by a little, the sickening stench made the blond flinch in discomfort.

"Shit! It's Heiwajima Shizuo!"

"What the hell?" Just by the mention of his own name, Shizuo felt the need to punch the man in the face. He ripped a lamppost and aimed it towards the running men.

Black and white? Was it another color gang crap? God… Must be one of Izaya's stupid game.

Before he could shot his weapon, a cough broke his concentration, making him miss his targets.

They got away…

"Che! I have no time to deal with them now." Shizuo ran inside the dark warehouse.

Fresh bloodstains everywhere. Whoever the poor victim was, poor dude must've put up a tough fight in protest.

He looked around for any bodies. None. Absolutely nobody around.

"Why is it so dark in here…" The blond growled. Using his lighter as his only source of light, he walked further.

Very carefully, he paced further, trying to find the source of that 'cough' he heard earlier. The tip of his foot hit something… Something that almost made him scream.

Chopped fingers. Four of them.

He quickly looked around, darting his eyes everywhere to find any signs of life.

Shizuo felt cold liquid landed on his blond head. Scared, he touched the wet spot on his head.

Blood… dripping from above.

Shizuo felt fear…

When he looked up, he saw a bloody figure hung by chains. The hands and legs were terribly disfigured, streaks of red liquid dripped down, landing on the blond's paled face. The body's face covered by a white cloth stained by something yellow. Probably poison.

The body just… beaten beyond recognition…

But Shizuo recognized that lab coat from anywhere.

"Oh, God…! SHINRA!"

…

I don't understand why someone would do that to him… Celty and I can't think of anyone who would hurt him to that level.

Izaya found a good doctor to bring Shinra back to life. They stitched his fingers back and somehow fixed his countless broken bones. They expect a full recovery from all of his injuries. Thank goodness...

But after that, Izaya never show up. Not even to visit Shinra.

All he did was finding a doctor and leave without care. God, I hate him so much! That selfish fucking louse!

And that is why I'm paying that parasite a visit.

.

Ah… Looks like I don't need to waste my money to go to Shinjuku… The flea is already here. All I have to do is beat some senses into him, drag him to Shinra's room.

"IIIIIIZAAAAYAAAAA-KUNNNN NNNGGEAAAHHH!" I throw a giant trashcan at him. Surprisingly, it hit him. But it wasn't enough to kill him. I throw a mailbox at him this time. And again, he didn't dodge it.

The people around us run, filling the city with their screams of havoc.

Izaya pull his disturbingly slender body up, rubbing his head in pain. "What the hell, Shizu-chan?! Why is it that I kept on walking into people I'd rather much avoid?"

"What are you doing here?!" I shout at his face from meters away. "You shitty flea…!"

"I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH YOU RIGHT NOW!" He snap before using a more gentle tone. "I don't want to deal with you ever again… I'll leave the Tokyo. I'll even leave Japan! Just… don't search for me anymore… Your place is here in Ikebukuro. So don't go anywhere else. Stay away from Shinjuku…"

I didn't get to say anything and he already fled. What was that about?

Dammit! He gets on my nerve!

.

A few weeks passed, the flea never appear once. Things are more peaceful right now. I love it.

Shinra woke up by the way. Celty had been by his side ever since. Work is fine. Everything is fine…

Everything is...

GHAAH! Who am I kidding?! For all those weeks, my mind was full of that annoying flea! I can feel it. He's planning something that would spiral everyone down into insanity, just like what he did to Anri and the other two. I haven't heard of the full version of the story yet, and I sure as hell don't want to.

In case I don't come back, I texted Celty, telling her where I am and what I want to do.

I'll definitely unfold what sick game that flea had in store.

.

On my way to the train station, I meet a rather insignificant-looking person. What was his name again? Miyano? Midano? Mi… Mi… Mikado!

I can see the hesitation in his eyes. He step closer to me, eyes glued to the ground. "Are you looking for Izaya-san?"

"Yeah…" I plainly say. "I have a feeling that he's preparing someone's grave right now. So I'll just be on my way and-"

"You can't! I-I mean, you can't…"

What is wrong with this kid? All I'm going to do is beat the crap out of the flea's face and make sure he's not pulling any funny strings. It's not like I'm going to murder him or anything. "Give me one good reason why I can't?"

"Because Izaya-san said so… Please! You have to listen to me. I don't think he's lying!"

"Look. Can you just spill it out?" My patience wearing thin by each second. I don't want to end up punching a highschool kid.

"Don't make me say it, Shizuo-san."

"SAY. IT." I feel bad for yelling. It wasn't his fault that he was caught up in the flea's .

He let out a small whimper before shutting his eyes tightly. His hands shaking?

"Three days ago, Izaya-san told me that you'll be coming here to this exact station. I've been coming here everyday to check. He asked me to try and stop you from entering Shinjuku for at least one week."

"That's not a very good reason. Move aside."

"He said you'll definitely die…, that Shinjuku is too dangerous for you to handle…" Pools of tears pricking from his eyes. Man… Now I feel bad for the kid.

I ruffle his black hair before gently pushing him aside. "Don't worry, kiddo. This is Heiwajima Shizuo you're talking to."

So I left him speechless and move along to buy my ticket. A strong grip by my sleeve stop me from walking further down the station. But I won't be listening to whatever he had to say after this. I'm not going to let a teenager order me around.

"Shizuo-san…"

He looks genuinely troubled. The begging look in his eyes made me think twice about my plan to crush the flea.

What he said afterwards contradicted his first request. Izaya said something more to him, and he's hiding it.

"Please save Izaya-san…"

.

As I enter the unfamiliar city, I immediately know where to go. The whole place stinks like him and there's only one particular building here that smells strongly of his stench. It's not his apartment though… But he's definitely there.

A few blocks outside the station gate, another blond teenager step in my way. dunno who he is, but I saw him with Anri and Mikado-kun before.

"My, my. I didn't think Izaya-san would be lying. Scary how dead accurate his predictions are~" The blond chirped, a teasing grin on his youthful face.

I hate to twist words and all. Might as well get straight to the point. "Let me guess… You're here to stop me from finding Izaya?"

The grin on his face disappear instantly, replaced by an ominous frown.

"Go back, Heiwajima Shizuo-san. There's only need for one sacrifice… Involving you would make everything more complicated for him."

"No." I quickly say. "I don't really care what you or Mikado-kun say. I'm still going."

"That Izaya… To bring Mikado into this mess…" He look up at me again. "I know I can't stop the Fortissimo of Ikebukuro, but can you at least listen to us when we ask you to leave? It's just one week! We only ask for one short week, then we don't care what you want to do in Shinjuku!"

His plea fall into my deaf ears as I walk past him, completely ignoring his existence.

.

"Shit…" Masaomi mutter, whipping out his phone and dialed the first number in his list.

Beep. Beep. "Kida-kun?"

"There's nothing I can do now. He's heading towards your location."

"That's quite- … okay-" The person on the other side of the line cough out. "I knew this would happen. You're free too do what you want now, Kida-kun. Leave this matter to me."

Masaomi grip his phone hard, almost snapping it in two. "As much as I dislike your guts, I don't want you to die on such a noble cause. Are you going to be alright, Izaya-san…?"

"See you later- No… That's not right… Goodbye then, Kida Masaomi."

.

Celty is on her way to find Shizuo in Shinjuku when she receive a call from someone she prefer not to have any contacts with.

'How rare of him to call me… Did he forgot the fact that I can't verbally reply him? Maybe he's just here to tease with his wicked sense of humor?'

Either way, she took the call.

"Celty-… kun…" The panting voice alarmed the dullahan. "I know what you're thinking. I even have a good guess on where you are… At these time, I should tell you to stay away from Shinjuku as what I told Shizu-chan to, but nothing I say would change you two's mind. It's too late for me to give orders now since I've miscalculated, thinking that I can somehow stop you two from finding me…"

A short pause as the voice tried to pull himself together through fast and heavy breaths.

"Listen here… I'm not going to tell you the full story of all these drama, so live with it… Shizu-chan is in Shinjuku right now… If you don't come and get him in time, he'll be killed. Both of you might be…"

'You're hurt… You're hurt?! Please don't tell me that you're dying!'

"Heh.. Hehe… I'm assuming that you're screaming at me in your mind right now… Living without a head is a bother, ne?"

'Hey! Don't you dare fall asleep now! I'm coming! I'm coming to get Shizuo, then get you! Stay-'

"Some people want you dead… Take-… Take care of Shinra for me. Bye, Celty-kun…"

'Hey…' … … … …

'IZAYA!'

.

Where am I?

What is this stench? Blood? My blood?

Someone is here with me. I try to open my eyes, but they are too heavy with sleep.

What was the last thing that happened to me…? Oh yeah… I entered somewhere and… and… and what…?

"Shizu-chan… This is Izaya… I know you can't open your eyes right now, but as soon as you do, return back to Ikebukuro. Celty will be here any minute."

Flea…? What did you do to me…? Why can't I move my body?

"By the end of the day, everything will be over. Leave immediately, Shizu-chan…"

I feel a bloody pair of cold hands cupping my cheeks, brushing the corner of my eyes.

The image of Shinra in that gory state flashed in my mind. God dammit! I have to open my eyes and see what's happening! I need to know now!

"I can't believe I'm doing this… Shizu-chan, I'm going to take of your clothes. We're going to switch for a while. I still need my jacket though. I'll give it to you when the time comes." He chuckle. A tint of desperation still linger in his trembling voice.

No! Whatever you're doing, just stop! Wait! No! Get your hands off me! I don't need you touching me like this… I'm here to kill you, dammit… Why are you doing this to me…?

"This is as far as I can bring you. Remember to run away as fast as you can. Find Celty. Get out of this place. Don't turn around. Just… go…"

Run away from what? What exactly are you hiding, flea?

His touch leave my skin for the final time, leaving me paralyzed in that empty and dark room. The sound of a metal door locked by hand. That's probably the only exit from this room. When I regain strength, I could easily break it open.

So what's the point of locking me in here, if he knows I'll get out anyway? No point in keeping me locked up in here. Unless… He wants to keep something from getting in…

Alone inside an unfamiliar confinement.

Left to do something that would stain his hands with the choking color of red.

Like hell I'll let let you do that!

.

Gunshots and the sound of singing chainsaw. Izaya tug his jacket close, hiding the bartender uniform he is wearing, running like a trapped mouse hiding its food.

In one hand, he holds a pink and white phone as he wait for an expected call. Feeling the vibration in his palms seconds later, he answer before the first ring.

/Orihara. Backup is coming your way. Until we arrive, try not to get hurt./

"No can do… Ha… Ha… … They… They already injected me with one of their poison… But I can manage… Ha… Ha…"

Enemies behind him closing in. The adrenaline rushing through his veins keep his legs running even though they sting ever so painfully.

/We'll get Shizuo out while he's still unconscious, provided that the report you gave us is correct./

"Then everything is settled… Ha… I expect everything to go as planned…"

/Of course-… Orihara…! Shit! We have new reports!/

"Che… I have no choice then…"

From the back of his belt, Izaya pull a grenade and unpin it, throwing the explosive behind him without proper aim. The impact of the explosion almost cause the whole floor to collapse. At least he is safe (for now).

"Talk."

/Heiwajima Shizuo is... nowhere to be found… And, in about 15 minutes, they are going to blow the whole building up./

The raven's heartbeat stop momentarily, his breathing unmoved.

"That means… We failed to save Shizuo…"

/We'll try our best to find him. Your life is our priority as well. We are aware of the obstacles you have. Do you think you can made it out in 15 minutes? We can pick you up on the roof. Ground floor is too crowded by the third party./

"I'm fine. Just find Shizuo. By my guess, Celty is currently in Shinjuku."

The poison sets in for a while now. His vision starts to deceive his mind, playing his sight with odd hallucinations.

"So close… We can't fail now…"

.

In top speed, Celty dashed her way to Izaya's studio.

She didn't know that she is heading the opposite direction of where she is supposed to be.

'Shizuo… Izaya… Hang in there…'

.

Like hell I'll let things go his way! Fuck! I am Shizuo, the supposed-to-be strongest man in Ikebukuro. There's no way some drug, poison or whatever they did will keep me down for long.

Open your eyes! OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES! YOU CAN DO THIS SHIZUO!

My eyes finally crack open. The dim source of light burn my eyes, making my eyes shut in pain.

Okay… Relax… I just need to slowly open my eyes, slowly open wherever the door is, slowly make my way out and slowly beat the shit out of that flea for making everything so confusing.

If only he'd sit down and explain his shit over a nice cup of tea, things won't get complicated.

But by the sound of his condition just now, something serious is happening. The blood he wiped on my cheek stinks.

…! He's wounded!

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. I have to find him before… Before what…?

I have no time for this. Unpleasant and impossible as it is, I force my legs to work.

After a long struggle, I am able to fight against the paralysis. Shocks of electrical sensation shot up my bones. It feels weird.

Now that I'm able to stand, I should make my way out, gradually increasing my pace.

.

Izaya blocked all entrance to the current floor before moving up. He needs to catch his breath, regain all those lost strength. Trembling, he popped two black tablets into his mouth and swallow hard.

"I owe the guys a favor…"

He glance at the time displayed on his phone. 7 minutes remaining. Still enough time…

More people from the upper floor come. He has no choice but to 'eliminate' them since he can't go back. With all guns pointing at him, he dare not to move a muscle.

He's done for it. No opening anywhere for him to escape until…

"Gunshots…." He whisper to himself. "from the lower floor…?"

.

If they think they can hurt me with puny bullets, then they're right. Well… 'If' they can take aim that is…

"IIIZAAAYYYAAAAA! WHERE IN THE HELL ARE YOU?!" I yell, making sure my voice is loud enough to be heard everywhere from the building.

Thanks to that flea, I learned a few swift moves to move about, dodging bullets and stunners.

One of the shooters scream to his other friends. "Who is he?! Why is there an intruder aside from the two targets here?"

Tow targets. Must've been me and Celty.

Now that's just pissing me off.

I hurl everything I can have my hands on towards them, proudly knocking them out within just a few hits. By the looks of the place's condition, a massive fight must've happened just now. And I bet all my soul that it involves the flea.

"IZAAYYAAAAA! COME HERE AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"

.

The raven hears loud crashes from one floor below. For a moment there, his heart sank, thinking that the opposite forces are going to win against him - a mere informant with only parkour capabilities and knifeplay as his backbone.

How happy is he when a familiar scream of his name hit his ears.

It seems that he wasn't the only one who got distracted by that single call. But that is all Izaya needs; a split second to draw his card.

One drop activates the sleeping gas bomb, grey fumes filling the room, knocking the people inside asleep. Izaya covered his lower face with his jacket, rushing to the exit which is blocked by falling ceiling pieces by his bombs, knowing fairly well that a certain blond would jab everything aside without much effort.

"SHIZU-CHAN! I'M OVER HERE!"

.

'Shizu-chan. I'm over here.' is the muffled sound I hear from the other side of the door.

First time in history, I feel oddly relieved to hear his usually-annoying voice.

I have no idea how this door is blocked by concrete and large metal bars. But it's nothing I can't handle. Shoving them aside is enough.

The first thing I see when opening the door is that flea, covering his face with his jacket… while waring my uniform… And here I am in his black v-neck shirt. Thankfully, our sizes aren't that far apart.

"Cover your nose, Shizu-chan. Follow me." He cough as he pull me by the arm, bringing me to an upper floor with less smoke. It's hard to breathe with that much stuff in the air, almost making me sleepy if it weren't for the flea tugging me like a paranoid mother.

I shot him a train of questions. He ignored them all. Heh… Figures...

Sounds of reloading guns and heavy boots indicate that we're not yet safe. I guess I have to let him pull me around longer before he'll talk.

Even for me, it's scary how dead serious his face was when he throws those small bombs behind him to close entrances.

While on the run, he suddenly stops. I almost tripped by the sudden pause. His one hand swiftly hover his phone over his ear, the other hand still crushing my arm.

"We… failed…?" he whisper.

All colors drained from my face. I don't know exactly what happened, but the smell of something horrible is near.

The smell of death...

Barely audible, Izaya's voice crack as he whispers back a response into his phone. "Is there any other way? Anything at all for him to escape…?"

I get it. We're in some sort of hunt; and we're the targets.

I want him to know that we'll beat them in their own game. "We're going to be fine, Izaya." He flinch at the sound of his name flowing softly out of my mouth. "Both of us will get out of this mess. Together."

He finally closes his phone and look at me straight in the eye. "Shizu-chan…?"

What's with this feeling…? Fuck. No. Whatever you're thinking, the answer is no.

He remove his jacket and place them over my head. "The only thing they know about you is your signature uniform. They don't care about Orihara Izaya. Once they find you, Izaya will no longer be a part of the big plan."

I don't like where this is going.

He turn around to face me with his usual mocking grin. "Not in a million eternity will I forgive you if you die today."

"No." I manage to croak out after all those silence. "I'm their target. Whatever they have against me, I can handle it."

"You don't understand how deadly they are…"

The spark in his eyes… Fear?

"Listen, flea. I won't let you go out there and get killed while being me. I can handle them myself."

He isn't listening to me… I grip him by the shoulders, refusing to let him do things as he please.

From his left pocket, he takes out a weird looking device. "Hehe… You're one to talk. It's not like I'm giving you a choice."

He pull the silver ring from his left index finger and slip it on my right ring finger. This guy's insane if he doesn't know what gesture this was. More insane if he's doing to to me - his nemesis.

Or all our years of murder attempts were just for show?

Do we share another feeling other than hate? Of course not. What am I thinking. I hate every inch of his existence. There is no way in heaven or hell that this is possible or even worth the thought.

If that's so, how come I feel all… wrong…?

"This is the end, ne? Goodbye, Shizu-chan."

Glass shards cutting across my skin. Powerful sounds of explosives deafen my ears.

All I can remember afterwards was that single smile on his face as he pushed me out through the window, everything covered by the black curtains of my conscience.

I can never forget the last word coming out of his mouth. 'Shizu-chan'.

.

.

.

Where am I...?

**- To Be Continued -**


	2. Day 1

Title : Dear Shizu-chan

Chapter 2 : Day 1

Where am I?

I can't see anything. I can't feel anything. Nothing except for darkness stretching before me.

Ah… I could be dead. No matter how tough my body had become, anyone would die if they fall from a 50 storey building.

Since I have no recollection of what happens after my fall and the fact that it feels like my body no longer physically exist, I'm going to assume that I'm dea-

"Shizu-chan?"

Flea?

… Even in my death, I can't believe you're haunting my mind…

"Ne, ne~ Shizu-chan can be so hard core~ I can't believe you're still alive after falling from the 46th floor."

Wait… Where are you? Why can't I see you?

"You're awfully boring when you're this still… I don't know if you can here my voice, but wake up from your coma soon! Knowing your body, those nerves would probably heal fast. Opps~ Behave, Shizu-chan! Someone's here for a visit."

What is he-

"Thank you, Celty. I'll be sure to be back by midnight."

Shinra? Wow. That's a big relief! By the sound of it, you're recovering quite well.

"Mmm! I love you too, my dear Celty. I… I'll be alright…"

Whoa… What happened to your happy tone just now?

I hear a plastic chair pulled closer to my side and a soft thud as someone sat on it.

"Hi, Shizuo-kun. It's me again. I know you'll be yelling at my face for my constant visit since you came here. Ahahaa… In fact, I can still hear that angry voice of yours in my head."

Talk about genuine sadness.

"Yeah. I know I said this to you every night, but I'll say it again anyway." Short sobs escape the doctor.

Ahh, Shinraaaaa! If you're going to cry, do it outside. I don't want to hear them.

"Th-hic- Thank you for saving me that-hic time. I owe you my life… And now, I'm going to do everything it takes to bring you back from this coma…"

Hey, now… It's only a coma. I'm not dead or anything.

"Along with the help I can scrape, we're going to fix you. So don't die on us…"

You're the last person I expect to hear that from. You're a doctor. You know that coma is only-

"Part of your brain is dying…"

What…? Did I hear that wrong?

A knock to the door force him to pull his face together and plaster on his ridiculous grin. I can't see it, but I know how he is; always putting a silly smile whenever possible.

"Ryuugamine-kun, Anri-chan~ How nice of you to visit him. He's still here. I mean… He's not going anywhere, so you know where to find him."

"Is Heiwajima-san alright…?" I know that voice. It's that Sonohara girl.

"I-It's partially my fault… If only I stopped him from going to Shinjuku that day, none of this would've happen…"

It's not your fault, Mikado. It was on my own accord. Shit! If only I can speak.

"It's not your fault, Ryuugamine-kun." Thanks, Shinra.

The two teens began sobbing. I think Shinra is shushing them, offering his comfort.

"Ryuugamine-kun… Let's bring Anri-chan outside…"

And so, they left.

"You know, Shizu-chan. A lot of people are waiting for you to wake up. Honestly, I can't wait for you to open your eyes and beat you into a coma myself~ I can just end you here, but that's unfair, ne? After all I did to save your ass, I don't think I can bring myself to waste my effort, no matter how fun it may be~"

Yeah, flea. Thanks for saving my ass alright… You're not exactly the best kind of people in this world, but you can be sweet sometimes.

"You're a jerk for making me worry."

I make the 'flea' worry? You're the one who stays in a collapsing building filled with explosives, dressing up as me and having your butt whooped by armed people.

_I_ am the one who's worried. Thank goodness you're alive after all that complex shit. I won't die even after shots and shocks. You're just a normal human being that is more likely to die of a physical impact.

If I can snap myself awake, mark my words, I WILL give you a full 8 hours lecture on why I am the one who should be worried, upset, shocked, angry, and… relieved…

I'm glad you're still alive, Izaya…

"I'll see you next time, Shizu-chan. I promise to come again as soon as possible."

… My conscience feels so heavy… … I feel tired… I can't… think…

**- To Be Continued -**

* * *

**A/N : Don't expect any good endings. Don't expect a bad ending as well. **


	3. Day 2

Title : Dear Shizu-chan

Chapter 3 : Day 2

"Good morning, Shizu-chan! It's the second day of my majestic visit!"

Izaya? God, I feel like shit right now. Hmph… At least I actually feel something. That's an improvement.

"The others are busy today. So I guess I can have you all to myself. So what shall we do today?"

I can't move. What do you expect me to do? A backflip on the bed or something?

"You're so quiet… I guess you can't really hear what I'm saying."

I can… I just… can't respond…

"So for today, I'll give you a full report of Ikebukuro~ How does that sound?"

That's nice. I would love to know how the others are doing. I remember Shinra said something about me dying. Hopefully, that flea personality of yours will be kind enough to explain it to me.

Surprisingly, I take the news about my coma pretty easily.

"Simon isn't doing that well. His shop, I mean. Anri-chan and her future-boyfriend are doing fairly well in school. Congratulations to them! Your friend, Tom-san seemed pretty well too. Though he stumbled upon more troubles than before without you kicking human ass."

There he goes again…, using the term 'human' as if he isn't one.

"Ne, did you hear? Shinra and Celty-kun are going to get married! But both of them feeling so indebted to you decided to wait until you wake up before throwing the official papers! Does that mean Celty-kun have to change her name? Kishitani Celty. Pff… Hahaha haha! I think I saw a glimpse of their future there! Celty-kun jabbing Shinra's stomach everytime he comes back from work. Just imagine~"

To fit the situation, he tried to imitate Shinra's voice. "Celty, my love~ I'm home! Where's my honey- buhgyaah! I love you too, my dear... Hahahaha!"

I have to admit, that's pretty funny, flea.

"Kasuka's hosting a new talkshow. Apparently, he's a major hit in Russia!"

Why must it always be Russia? … Not that I'm complaining. I'm sincerely happy for Kasuka.

Heh. About a few days ago, just by the mention of his name by the flea would rip my sanity wires of my mind. But it's different now. I don't mind hearing the flea talking like this.

In fact, I somehow enjoyed his company…?

"Hmm. I don't know who else to mention."

How about you? How did you manage to survive that place?

"If we're actually talking right now, you must be wondering how I've been."

Scary how our minds synch sometimes. It's like you're there reading my mind. Perfect timing too.

"I don't want to talk about what happened in Shinjuku. I'm still your average informant. Still searching for ways to entertain myself. Sadly, everything is not the same without you. You'll always have a special spot in my heart."

I curse myself for mentally fluster at his comment. Something about him changed. He's kinder and sweeter, reminding me of the sensation of simply being happy.

"A special spot where I keep all my other hatred locked up. I hate you for making my life thorny, Shizu-chan. You're a real prick."

Okay. I take that back. He's still an ass.

"Aww. My time is almost up. You're feeling tired too, ne?"

Yeah… I don't think I can keep my conscience up. I need to shut myself down for now.

"See you tomorrow."

Yeah, yeah. See you later, flea.

**- To Be Continued -**

* * *

**A/N : Ahh... I know these type of story isn't that like-able. But for those who read this, thank you very much for your time. I hope that future chapters will be entertaining (enough).**


	4. Day 3 - Phonecall

Title : Dear Shizu-chan

Chapter 4 : Day 3 - Phonecall

Ah… My conscience is waking up again… I'm still in a coma though. How is it possible that one's mind is awake, but unable to move or feel their own body?

"Good morning, Shizu-chan…"

Oi… What's with the sad tone, flea? I don't need that right now.

"A lot of depressing things happened… I need someone to talk to."

Something about his voice is off. It's as if he's speaking to me through a phone. Fuck. My mind feels like it's drowning.

"I don't know why I would want to talk to you, since I loathe you and all. But you're practically the reason why I'm dragged into this mess in the first place." He sigh in dismay. "You know, I was so shocked when they told me you were in a coma after falling from that building. They still didn't know I was the one who pushed you in the first place. I know I have to do it, but I feel guilty."

You're trying to save me. I should be thanking you, Izaya.

"Ever since that day, my thoughts are haunted by the events unfolded in Shinjuku. I was scared when I learned of the truth. Scared when I have no choice but to accept reality. I'm scared of what will happen and even more scared when I have zero control of anything. As much as how I love my own cowardice, the whole experience is too much for me to handle."

I don't get it. What have gotten into you? You're not the type to talk about your own weaknesses.

"You may or may not be able to hear me or the others. I don't know..."

I can hear you perfectly!

"Maybe you can. Maybe you're listening to my voice right now. Maybe the words I am saying to you would sound different in your awakened conscience. What you may heard before or will hear in the future might be a product of your own desires. So if I happen to be the voice you're hearing, keep in mind that they might be fake; a forced picture of your own lonely imagination."

Now you're scaring me. Quit saying such complicated things. I don't want to hear any of your jokes. Ever.

"According to my colleagues, your body is making perfect recovery. There's a report about your brain malfunction, but it's nothing that you can't throw off." Another sigh. "The hospitals or Shinra can't even give an accurate diagnosis. You should thank me for telling you all of this. Maybe you don't, assuming that you're not listening."

If you're insisting on continuing your 'maybe' crap, I'm going back to sleep.

"Giving what they say is true, you should be able to wake up anytime you want."

I…

"That's all I'm going to say! Hmm… Maybe I'll help Shizu-chan trigger this wake-up switch." He let out a small cough, sounding like he is about to vomit.

Is he going to be alright? He didn't sound too good.

"I'll leave a mental mark on you. You need a voice to guide you out of that angry head of yours. So I'll let you borrow my voice to sweet-talk you back into reality."

I still don't understand what he's trying to deliver. You have no idea how petrified I am to hear how gentle and sincere his next line would be. Thay is a scene I will kill to see - Orihara Izaya saying those exact words in front of me, visible and touchable for me to confirm that he is there, and everything is true.

"Please wake up, Shizu-chan… Wake up for the both of us, ne? Let me be your savior."

That was the last thing I can catch before dozing into oblivion.

**- To Be Continued -**

* * *

**A/N : Shit just got real. Thank you for reading /O3O)/**


	5. Day 4 - Beloved Letters

Title : Dear Shizu-chan

Chapter 5 : Day 4 - Beloved Letters

**"We've…. here now… We'll…. hospital…"**

Wh… What is going on…?

**"See… soon… very… zuo…"**

Izaya? Is that you?

**"Sinc…. iru… ri…"**

Wait. Hold your shit. My mind isn't fully loaded yet.

"Geez. I don't think this is working…"

What's not working?

"And after Shinra insisted that reading mails to you would at least spark a few brain activities in that protozoan jelly inside of that head of yours… I don't get enough credit for reading these perfumed fancy paper." I hear rustles of paper and tearing noises of an envelope.

Honestly, I want to punch you in the face for reading my letters. I prefer to read them in private, thank you very much.

"You got one from your land lady! Okay, okay. Let me read this one for you."

Hahaha. I even got one from the land lady. I hope she's doing fine.

**"Heiwajima Shizuo,**

**We've heard about your accident. All of your neighbors are worried about their favorite Fortissimo. We've kept your place clean until the day you come back home. Why don't we have a little 'welcome back' party when you're discharged from the hospital?**

**As a little gift, I'm not going to charge you a single yen while you're in the hospital. I'll even make sure your properties are untouched. **

**Things are quiet without you. Be sure to come back as soon as you can.**

**Miss. L."**

Nice to know that some people miss me. I didn't expect them to wait for my return. All these time, I thought I was a nuisance for owning such dangerous strength.

"Next is from Simon." He giggle. "It even smells like sushi. I wonder if he's happy to know that we're not fighting anymore."

**"To Shizuo,**

**Russia Sushi is waiting for your return! When you visit, there will be new sushi in the menu! We have new yellow sushi for sale, safe to eat, no worries! Yellow sushi have no name yet, but everyone said that sushi color reminds them of you, so everyone agreed to name it 'Shizushi'. Only for you, Shizushi is free forever!**

**Make sure to eat a lot when you wake up. Shizuo, you'll need a lot of energy to be back on your feet! Until then, stay healthy! **

**выздоравливай скорее.**

**- Semyon Brezhnev"**

"Aww. Cute. He even left that small message in Russian. Ah, Shizu-chan. Vyzdoravlivay skoyere means 'get well soon'. Don't you think that's just the sweetest thing ever? So sweet, it taste disgusting. Then again, you do love sweet things."

I just noticed. Since when did we stopped fighting? After I wake up, will things change back to normal?

I don't want that. I want things to be like this. Having you as an opposite of an enemy is nice.

Friends. Yes, that's right. I want us to be friends.

"Ah. This one is from Kasuka. I'll make this one extra special." He clear out his throat before reading my brother's message out loud. I feel a bit nervous here.

**"To my dear brother,**

**I don't know when you will be able to read this letter. I was shocked and depressed after learning about your condition. I considered quitting my job to be by your side, but I know you would tell me to do otherwise. That's what your friends told me.**

**All these times, I was worried about you. Though I may not show them, I am deeply worried about your well being and how the world would accept your strength that you hate so much. But seeing you surrounded by a lot of people, I can say that you're loved. You have people you can trust now. I'm really happy.**

**The doctors said fearful things about your recovery after the accident. They said that you might not make it. Embarrassing to say, I did cry 'a lot' at the hotel. I was scared before, and I'm still scared now. I don't want to hear them say anything about you.**

**I've known you for a lifetime. I don't care what the others say. I know that you'll definitely wake up. When that time comes, I may not be able to be by your side and welcome you back after the long coma for the first time. So I'll leave this letter to say something in my place as my warm greeting. **

**- I will always love you, my dear brother. **

**Forever be,**

**Heiwajima Kasuka."**

… Kasuka… … …

Dammit. If I have control over my boy right now, I'll be fuckin' crying my eyes out. Heck, I'll rip all those IV or other hoses out of my system and run to wherever he is. If he is ever hurt by anyone, anyone at all, I swear I'll skin them alive!

"No, no, Shizu-chan. I know you'll have murderous thoughts by now. It's not like I don't allow you to do that, I don't care really. Okay… Maybe I _do_ want you to go on a killing spree. I would love to see your name in the day's headlines. _Heiwajima Shizuo - serial killer of Japan!_ Goodness, that would be heaven! Ahahaha!"

And here you have Orihara Izaya - the biggest asshole in Japan.

"But in order to do that, you have to wake up, okay? Everyone wants you to open your eyes… I want you to… open your eyes too…" He started to whimper, then soft sobbing escaped his breath.

Oi, oi! Are you crying now?! Stop it… That's not like you at all… Come on… I'll be dead broken if I hear more of your pathetic sobbing.

"I'm sorry for not doing anything right for you…" His breathing becomes heavy and fast, inhaling and exhaling deeply while sounding like something is stuck in his throat. "Sorry for failing…"

Oh, fuck! You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one at fault for being the target in the first place. Sorry, Izaya. I'm so sorry… Just please stop breaking down like this.

"I can't handle this, Shizu-chan… I want you to be there and tell me that I've done a good job… All my life since your fall, I've been living my days in regret, thinking that I've failed the only big mission in my life…"

How broken and painful his voice sounds. I want to hold him and tell him that everything is alright…

I hate this…

My existence brings nothing but sorrow…

A curse…

Maybe I'm better off not waking up at all…

"Shizuo?! Darn it! Why now?!"

Ah. Shinra… You're here too?

"Celty! Celty, you have to help me move Shizuo! It's a heart malfunction!"

Beep… Beep… Beep…

Beep… Beep…

Beep-

.

.

.

**- To Be Continued -**

* * *

**A/N : Thank you all for reading~  
So... The question from the previous chapter is - "Is Izaya alright? Is he hurt? Is he dying?"  
Hmm... Honestly, I don't know how to answer that. If you read chapter 1, his chances of survival is near zero. Then again, this is Izaya we're talking about, so I'll leave you people to think of what happened to him.**

I won't be updating for a while. Second semester of college is starting soon, and my parents don't really like it when I spend my time doing something else other than studying. They even told me to drop out of college if my grades don't pass the average A. =3= Asian parents... 


	6. Day 5 - Acceptance

Title : Dear Shizu-chan

Chapter 6 : Day 5 - Acceptance

Ugh… I feel like shit…

Would someone, anyone, please explain what happened to me?

Who am I asking… It's not like anyone can hear me in my thoughts.

…

Izaya…? Are you there…?

"Shizu-chan…? It's been five days since your body broke down… Why haven't you wake up yet? "

Shit… Please don't use that tone on me.

I need you to tell me exactly what's going on, please, Izaya.

"You practically broke everyone, you hear me? The whole hospital entered quite a state of havoc because of you. Looks like everyone here grew fond of you, Shizu-chan. Aren't you happy? Isn't this what you want all these times; to be loved? Then again, that's what everyone wants."

I…

"But not me. You see, I'm not like everyone. I longed not to be loved, but worshipped, and I prefer to keep things that way since that's the kind of lifetime I lived.-"

Cheh. You're sick Iz-

"At least, that's what I want to tell you. But things changed now."

Huh…?

"I want nothing more but for you to open your eyes right now. Instead of just talking to myself, I want you to talk back. Punch me, throw me off a building, I DON'T CARE! Just… Do something to prove that you're still alive…"

Okay. I was not expecting that.

I'm afraid I cannot fulfill your favor. No matter how I wished to leave this white realm, I cannot break free. I cannot simply 'leave' here. I… I don't know what to do, where to go.

Tell me then, how can I be free from this prison?

"Shizu-chan? Remember the time when I told you that you can actually wake up whenever you want? If you don't, it's okay. I'll just remind you again."

I… don't remember such things…

"If you can hear my voice, then follow it. Follow it and open your eyes. All you have to do is to… have the will to come back…"

The will to…

So all I have to do is magically wish for it? Then after that, I'll be able to see everyone again? It's that simple, yet-

No…

Everyone is better left without a Fortissimo of Ikebukuro to worry about. I am the reason why a lot of people lived in fear just by knowing that I roam around their streets; a walking time bomb. I constantly put everyone's life in danger. It's a miracle that nobody died because of my uncontrolled rage throughout the years.

Maybe if I disappear for good, nobody would have to worry about me. Not Celty, Shinra, and especially Kasuka. I've caused him enough trouble in the past. I cannot bear the thought of his life chained down from certain things just to make sure I am 'alright'.

I know deep in my heart that a few people will miss my absence. But that 'absence' is what everyone needs, what everyone _deserves_.

Someone else will take my place in the city and in the people's hearts; someone who is a normal human being that posses no threat whatsoever.

All those year's worth of mockery and curse about my existence come throbbing into my ears. I didn't mind, actually. They are 'in fact' true. The number of people I hurt is beyond countless.

Why am I given this strength in the first place? 'To protect' is a shameful lie that I simply cannot continue.

Ah…! It is to put an end to the future monster I'll eventually become!

That's a nice way to put it. In the end, it's still protecting, right? To protect the people from myself, is that it?

Still...

I cannot stand this. I learned to love myself for who I am, but that hate and fear never left me. I am a fool to let myself forget about how rotten my whole being is.

I am violence incarnate.

Everyone I touch will break. Let it be physically or mentally, I just don't care anymore...

Yes. It would be better if I just disappear. I cannot think of one solid reason for Heiwajima Shizuo to continue on living.

In the end, everyone is better left happier without me.

Finally… This white field I grew tired of seeing slowly eaten away by the darkness crawling towards me. Waiting for the end of my chapters of my decaying book, I close my eyes. Soon, it will completely consume my body and soul.

_Beep. Beep. Beep.- Beep.- B-…_

_Beep._

_Beep-_

"Shizu-chan…! Shizu-chan!"

Izaya…?

I feel a pair of warm hands cupping my cheeks. So… very… warm… And almost as quick as the hands touched me, they coldly pull apart from my skin, leaving an almost-painful icy sensation.

"Shizu-chan! Shizu-chan! Shizuo!"

I open my tired eyes, shocked yet relieved when I see a familiar figure in front of me.

"Sh-Shizuo…" He stretched his arms wide towards me, pools of cold tears swirling in his eyes. The darkness devouring half of his body. "Shizuo! Shizuo!"

Is that how it is? Another illusion created by my dying brain? There is no way in heaven or hell would he be the one to spread his arms like that. There's no fucking way.

But if I didn't know any better. It is as if he is suffering extreme pain. The black hands tearing his limbs apart. He doesn't belong here. That's why they're taking him out.

"Shizuo! Shizuo! SHIZUO!"

Oh, God… The unmoving lump in my throat made it impossible for me to say anything. Izaya is there, calling out to my name, being the first person in the world who I see after being trapped here for what felt like an eternity.

"Shi…zuo…! Shizuo…! Ack!"

What are you doing here, you damn flea?

It is as if he could hear my thoughts. His arms still holding out for me to take. With a wide and painful smile, absolutely no deceit behind it, he whispered genuinely.

"Please wake up, Shizu-chan… Wake up for the both of us, ne? Let me be your savior."

Those pleading blood-red eyes. Something about them is telling that it everything will be alright…., that he is and always be with me…

"I… zaya…"

I struggle to move my non-existent body, slowly regaining my physical form as I reach out and hold his hands. Our fingers intertwine perfectly as I pull him closer.

That is the time I realized something crucial in my life.

The only one who will not break if I touch;

The only one who is not afraid of the inner monster resting inside of me;

The only one who kept on chasing me despite how many times I rejected or shove that person away;

The only one who would disregard my deadly strength and approach me one way or another;

The only one who could hear my voice in times when I am supposed to be dead…;

...was none other than Orihara Izaya.

"Is it really alright for me to live on?"

Izaya gives a small nod as he hold my hands together, kissing them and let all the warmth of the world flow back into my body through his pale lips.

"Let's go back, Izaya."

.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

**- To Be Continued -**

* * *

**A/N : Okay. Short update before disappearing for a while. My parents still won't let me touch the internet. ;A;  
I wasn't planning to post anything, especially this chapter, but I can't hold me feels and frustrations right now. I'm sure that a lot of you had read the spoilers of DRRR vol 12 light novel.  
Shinra and Celty... And Shizuo and Izaya... I just can't... *gross sobbing from a distance* **


	7. Five

Title : Dear Shizu-chan

Chapter 7 : Five ...

I flutter my eyes open, immediately shutting them back when the blinding light of the world pierces my weak pupils. From that short glimpse, I can tell that it is now nighttime.

If memory serves me right, I've been out for five days.

No hose or IV attached to my body except for the heart monitor beeping along my heart rate. Beep. Beep. Beeping abnormally slow and weak. The sound I grew to hate as a kid brings unexplained joy to my ears.

Finally, I am awake…

I have to find Izaya. The first thought I have when I regained these unused senses is that flea.

Yes. The same flea who destroyed almost half of my life. The same flea who pisses me off just by standing in front of me.

And the same flea who saved me from that drowning slumber.

The same flea who I will forever pour my dedication to from this point on.

"Izaya…"

But dammit! Meeting him would have to wait. I am pathetically still too weak to even move a muscle. For now, all I can do is stay quietly still as I welcome more strength back into my body. Even with the title 'Invincible Incarnation Of Violence' or 'Fortissimo Of Ikebukuro', I am still somewhat… human…

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Hmm… Sounds so nice. Sounds like a message from heaven. Beep, beep, beep. beeping to tell me that I'm still alive right here, right now.

I let sleep carry me once again, knowing that I'll wake up in the morning like I normally do.

.

See? What did I tell you? I wake up around nine in the morning, though still feeling too shitty to do any real action besides rolling left and right.

So empty and alone. One of the million reasons why I hate hospitals. The white ceiling always seemed to be lowering itself down before crushing me flat on the face. Scary how medicine ( but seriously, they're just some never effective drug ) cause very real hallucinations like that.

Now that I'm awake, might as well let everyone know.

Not seeing any method of gentle 'call', I push the emergency button. Who would've guessed that Shinra was the first person I see after the long shut-eye.

He looks a little different… But the man in front of me is no doubt Kishitani Shinra.

"Shizuo…? A-Are you really awake." Large beads of tears swelling from his chestnut eyes.

"No. The ghost helped push the button." I say playfully, enjoying the teasing mood I urge to let out. "So… Yeah… It's been a while."

Shinra march up beside me and gave a good smack to the head. Hmph. He sure is one heck of a doctor, I'll give him that. "Don't you '_It's been a while_' me, Shizuo!"

I brush the 'attack' off. It didn't hurt anyway. "Hello to you too, Shinra." I say, smiling.

"God, Shizuo…! I have to let everyone know!"

His hands are shaking as he sends a few texts to a few people, still sobbing his eyes out. Hahaha. He needs to relax a little. I'm awake now, right? That's all that mattered.

"You don't have to act like I've been risen from the dead, Shinra. I know about my coma and a few stuff like that."

His hands froze, wide eyes staring back into mine. "Shizuo…? But how…?"

"Duh. Izaya had been updating a few things for the past five days."

"That's impossible…" I can see he flinched a little. Is it something I said?

"What's impossible? Anyway, where is he? There's a few things I need to straight out between us."

Yes. A lot indeed. After an epic incident in Shinjuku like that, I don't think we can look at each other normally ever again. Whoa. All those visions of Izaya and I as 'friends' flashed through my head.

I am sincerely looking forward to meeting Izaya again. Maybe we could finally fill up and patch the hell both of us created in the past. A better fate for everyone.

"Shizuo…"

"Yeah?"

Wait… What's with the face…? Oh, no... Oh, no no no... I don't want to know where this is going... No... Nope. Hell, no.

"It's been five years…"

.

**[ So… How is he? Is he going to be okay? ]**

"Yes. He made his full recovery three years ago. I don't know why he didn't wake up soon after recuperation, and what caused him to wake up only three years after." Shinra hugged his beloved soon-to-be wife, wrapping her in his strong arms. "He should be completely fine, but he didn't take the news well…"

**[ Which news? ]**

Shinra gently break the hug, eyes staring at the empty floor. "I… I shouldn't have told him anything…"

**[ Shinra. What news? ]**

"About his coma for the past five years…"

Celty relaxes her shoulder, relieved to hear those words. **[ That's fine then. You scared me just now… ]**

"…"

**[ Shinra? ]**

"And about Orihara-kun's disappearance…"

* * *

**A/N : I barely write things lately. College is eating my time and my parents won't let me do things that are not study related. With everything as it is, I feel like I'm not writing for fun anymore, but for update satisfaction and such. This scares me sometimes... I don't want to stop writing just because I've been restricted from my beloved passion... **


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